How to cope with a spouse who spends money like water

A spouse who spends money like water can cause financial heartache and problems for a household, therefore may also be a marital problem. Marital problems are solvable using a number of methods including coping mechanisms, however coping mechanisms do not solve the problem, but rather alleviate the symptoms of the problem. If one takes their finances seriously, coping with a spouse who spends money like water is an inadequate way to deal with the problem. The more direct approaches discussed in this article may lead to the partial or complete resolution of the financial difficulties posed by a spouse who spends money like water, but are by no means guaranteed to be effective. When all else fails, and if the problem is bad enough, marital separation may be a legitimate option.

• Understand your spouse:

Married couples may not always come from different backgrounds and value systems. While ideally both partners have a sense of responsibility for handling household money, this is not always the case and can cause difficulties in a relationship. A spouse who spends money as though it were water may not be inclined to change their ways, but steps can be taken to resolve the problem and restructure the household finances. Such a situation as this can be dealt with in many ways from dissolving the relationship to finding ways to deal with the overspending spouse without getting a divorce. The following 7 tips incorporate techniques used to resolve a number of relationship obstacles and apply them to financial issues that may face a couple.

• Talk about the spending:

Talking about the financial issue assertively to address the problem, and communicate well by understanding how one's spouse communicates and talking with him or her in a way that they can understand. Many people have different communications styles so it is important to understand the spouses communication style and approach them their way for better chances of success. Talking about it can lead to solutions, compromises and an improved financial situation. Being bossy, making de facto demands and being cruel might just create animosity.

• Consider financial therapy or assistance:

Financial therapy for couples is another way to address a financial issue. Having a third party or group of couples together to discuss a problem can add a new and helpful dimension to a problem by airing out concerns, acknowledging an issue, and helping each other realize other people have financial problems to. The process of financial therapy can be slow, but it can move in the right direction if either the couple signs up.

• Encourage responsibility:

If the above steps do not encourage responsibility, additional steps can be taken. For example, if one's spouse has car payments for a car in their name, allow them to pay those bills to foster financial responsibility. They may not like to or want to handle all the bills and find them overwhelming so just giving them one bill to be responsible for may teach them a little responsibility.

• Set and agree on priorities with your spouse:

Setting financial priorities that both partners agree on allows the most important household goals to become more important than the spouses poor spending habits. Such priorities include all the bills, and saving money. After that, agreeing on an allowance for each spouse will give each partner to spend but within pre-defined limits. The hard part is agreeing on the allowance, but it is possible through talking about it and/or managing the household finances for the overspending spouse.

• Ask for help:

Family members who get along well with the overspending spouse may be able to get through to him or her. Assuming this arrangement is a willing one, close and trusted friends and family may be able to mediate the situation. Other sources of mediation include financial planners, accountants and credit counselors. Having a joint meeting with such financial professionals may help instill the concept of financial responsibility in the overspending spouse as well as potentially educate them as to the consequences of overspending.

• Filing taxes separately:

If the situation is uncontrollable one may also consider filing taxes separately as this creates a more official financial separation between the two partners. By doing so, one is essentially saying to one's spouse, the household finances are no longer able to be managed effectively under the current conditions. While this may not be the only way to deal with the situation it may instill the realization that financial responsibility is a fact of life.

• Establishing individual accounts:

By establishing individual accounts money is separated but the marriage isn't. Each partner in effect will now have a budget from which they can spend to their hearts content. When the overspending spouse runs out of money, they will have to wait for the next installment of money before being able to spend. This division of money can help get the situation under control.

Every marriage is unique and the rules of the relationships vary. Communication, action and financial wisdom are keys to improving the situation without necessarily dissolving the marriage. Marital finances are not the relationship, but rather an aspect of the relationship that may need attention. The above steps can help one with assessing the best way to deal with an overspending spouse and potentially reduce the problem and/or assist in keeping the spending within reasonable limits.